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<title>nepeta goes to mcdonalds by fevrdreamzzz</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596669">nepeta goes to mcdonalds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fevrdreamzzz/pseuds/fevrdreamzzz'>fevrdreamzzz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, crackfic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:14:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fevrdreamzzz/pseuds/fevrdreamzzz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>nepeta goes to mcdonalds to obtain BURGER but things go horribly wrong</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nepeta goes to mcdonalds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AC: :33 &lt; me omw (on my way) to get the travis scott purrger !! 😹</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"May I help the next guest please?" dirk sighed. he hated it here.</p><p>nepeta slammed her paws on the counter. ":33 &lt; hello i would like a purrger"</p><p>"We don't serve burgers here."</p><p>"33: &lt; what do mew mean mew dont serve purrgers this is a mcdonalds"</p><p>"Burger machine broke."</p><p>"33:&lt; &lt; what do mew MEAN 'purrger machine broke'!!!!!!!" nepeta was FURIOUS. how could this happen. this was a fucking MCDONALDS!!!!!! they should know how to manage their fucking BURGER MACHINES!!!!</p><p>"Exactly how it sounds. The burger machine broke." dirk is not getting paid enough for this someone please help him</p><p>"33:&lt; &lt; THIS IS A FUCKING MCDONALDS!!! MEW SHOULD KNOW HOW TO MANAGE MEWRE FUCKING PURRGER MACHINES!!!!" nepeta screeched, slamming her paws on the counter yet again.</p><p>a very british sounding voice yelled from across the room, a hint of fear in its voice, "oi luv could you please calm down its just a burger innit"</p><p>"33:&lt; &lt; SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" nepeta climbed on the counter on all fours, foaming from the mouth snarling and hissing grr hiss mreeooow "&gt;:OO &lt; i want borger BITCH"</p><p>"Ma'am please calm down. We have chicken nuggets-"</p><p>"&gt;:OO &lt; I DONT FUCKING WANT CHICKEN NUGGIES!!! I WANT A PURRGER!!! FIX MEWRE FUCKING PURRGER MACHINE RIGHT MEOW!!!"</p><p>"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" another voice echoed.</p><p>"ROXY YOU AREN'T HELPING." dirk replied, screaming like a little bitchboy. twink.</p><p>nepeta grabbed dirk and started violently shaking him like a vending machine "&gt;:OO &lt; FIX MEWRE PURRGER MACHINE MEOW!!" nepeta is fucking FUMING. someone please get her a burger oh god oh fu</p><p>"Ma'am, if you don't calm down I'm going to have to ask you to leave." dirk said through tears. someone please help this man he is getting paid minimum wage</p><p>"&gt;:OO &lt; IF MEW DONT FIX MEWRE PURRGER MACHINE IM GONNA HAVE TO ASK MEW TO LEAVE!!!!!" nepeta screeched as she got closer to breaking the sound barrier with each passing second</p><p>"I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE."</p><p>"&gt;:OO &lt; FUCK THE PURRLICE! ACAB!!!!" nepeta then proceeded to bitchslap the twink.</p><p>":33 &lt; fuck mew guys im going to purrger king"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>44️⃣ 33️⃣ 22️⃣ fuck you🖕<br/>listen👂 up⬆ yall this shit 💩 is ironic ‼<br/>strider's 😎 beats🔊 are best suited🕴 to trolls 👹 hooked 🎣 on phonics 🔣<br/>karkalicious ♋ definition 📖 makes terezi ♎ loco 🤪<br/>she♎ wants to know 🤨 the secrets 🗝 that she♎ can't 🚫 taste 👅 in my photo 📷<br/>dyin ⚰ just to know 👓 the flavor 👅 i aint 🚫 doin HER♎ no 🚫 favors<br/>no 🚫 reasons why i tease ✨ her♎ flush ♥ just comes and goes 🚪 like seasons 🍂</p></blockquote></div></div>
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